Casting.

“Casting is very difficult.”

“It’s a bit quiet at the moment.”

“You’re still in the mix.”

“They’ve decided to go in a different direction.”

“You look too young/too old for the part.”

“They really like you.” ( You don’t get the job. )

“I didn’t know you were available.”

“You were fantastic. We really must work together again soon.”

(“Has it really been 40 years?”)

“I never work with the same actor twice.”

“They’re going to make a decision over the weekend.” ( It’s on offer. )

“You’re perfect for the part.” ( Absolutely no chance.)

But you played all those big parts for him in Rep., he’s sure to remember.”

“She’s casting her girl-friend as Lear.”

“We love your work.” ( But we’re not certain we want to involve you in ours which is infinitely more important. )

“They’re not seeing people at the moment.” ( Oh, yeh? )

“It’s down to the last two.” ( You might get it if the “name” asks for too much money. )

“They were together at University.” (No chance then )

“It’s on offer to… ( flavour of the month )

“They loved you but it’s a no.”

Casting director, on being mightily impressed after an opening night,”Do you know, I’d never have cast you in that.”

“You were brilliant. I didn’t know it was you.” (She’s never given me a job )

Casting director to actor friend: “Who’s the new boy?”

( The actor had been around 20 years at the time.)

Fine actor on giving it up to become a voice coach: “I couldn’t stand waiting around every year to get cast in The Bill in October.”

“Do you mind reading?” ( 9 lines) After 45 years, frankly, yes.

“We’re trying to cast a whole family.” ( Thank you but no )

On casting an actor’s young son in a part: “Sorry but they don’t think you’re quite right as his father.”

The author: “I didn’t think you were going to do this part.” ( You weren’t first choice )

NO ONE at the audition gets the part ( The person they originally wanted has become available again)

“Thank you for coming all this way.” (You haven’t got the part.)

“We have to send the audition tapes to Sweden.” (You haven’t got the part.)

“You were WONDERFUL in…..” ( You never hear another word.)      

Into their eighth TV series,they cancel an audition because you played the tiniest of parts in the first series.

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